Food is a central part of life and it can be difficult to maintain a balanced diet, especially when there are so many different ideals that influence us all the time. Because there are so many different points of view on what is right, wrong, healthy or unhealthy, it can be difficult to know what’s right or wrong for you.
My Personal Story
Speaking from experience, it was difficult for me to maintain balance in terms of what I was eating and I ended up following a pattern that was not healthy for me. I became very sensitive to what other people around me said, about what I should and shouldn’t eat, and other related things that I took very personally.
Despite the people around me constantly checking how I was feeling, and making well-meaning comments about my food intake, I somehow thought that a low weight and small amount of insulin was good for me. I slowly started losing weight. This was during a time when I did tons of training and workouts, which was combined with a lifestyle of too much work and too little sleep.
My family and friends, of course, saw the dangerous path I was heading down but I couldn’t see it myself. I wasn’t listening to them and they were helpless.
One morning, after a Christmas party with my colleagues, I woke up with severe oedema, especially in the face. I was dealing with a body and face that was suffering from extreme malnutrition.
I didn’t know how to feel. But, it was very clear to me that what was going on with my body was totally wrong. A few days after, I called a clinic to get help with what was going on and I told my parents that everything was going to be okay. I remember that day very clearly. I was so afraid and inside I knew what they were going to say to me. I was diagnosed with anorexia nervosa. It was hard to hear this diagnosis but I knew I had to make changes in my life to survive.
The period after was tough. Tough to break the pattern I had created. Although I understood that I was very sick, it was difficult to get rid of the bad feelings I had towards food. Six to eight months later, I could finally see and understand my problems and how the life I had lived for so long failed to make me happy or offer me anything positive.
It’s difficult to pinpoint the exact circumstances that can trigger this kind of illness, but for me, I think many external factors beyond my diabetes contributed.
I’m lucky to have supportive and compassionate parents and friends. After my period of illness, I could go back to my quiet, normal life, and was lucky enough to get a new job and my old friends back.
What I Learned
This period of my life was very tough, but I also learned a lot.
In particular, I learned to not pay attention to the “ideal” lifestyles presented on social media. It's important to learn as much as possible about your individual body and what is best for you, without trying to live like somebody else. Figure out the best way for you to balance food, exercise and insulin.
Living with a chronic illness is hard, especially when that illness has an impact on what you eat. Food is a central part of everyday life, and always keeping track of all the food we eat can be a risk factor for food becoming a problem. As a person with type 1 diabetes, I will always keep an eye on carbohydrates, blood sugar levels and what my hunger really means.
The combination of diabetes and food can of course be difficult. When you have anorexia, bulimia, diabulimia or another unhealthy relationship with food, it often gets worse when you try to balance your blood sugar together with insulin. It’s not always easy to figure out the right dose and you can often encounter problems with low or high blood sugars.
When I look back now, I can’t imagine how I managed to live a life where I spent my days working out, counting calories, losing friends and losing touch with reality etc. It just isn’t worth it. Now, I have my social life back, my friends (new and old ones) and most importantly– I can talk to my family as if they were my best friends.
Mindful Eating
The most important thing for me as a person who has a history with an eating disorder, is to not make decisions that negatively affect my health. And by that, I mean that I will choose foods that make me happy, not according to the values on my blood sugar sensor.
I always have to remind myself that what is written on food labels is not the be-all and end-all. What’s important is that I listen to myself, review sources, and listen to what I want.
The goal should not be trying to achieve a "perfect" healthy life, exercise the most or eat what everyone else does. The important thing is that you strive to find a balance that works for you and fits with your everyday puzzle.
We learn that health and well-being is about doing what everyone else is doing- Forget it. It’s not true! Life isn’t all green smoothies and gym selfies. These things have no effect on low self-esteem and lifestyle changes need to be based on considerations and shouldn’t act as punishments. We need to remind ourselves what health and well-being is really about.
I also want to remind you that it’s not dangerous to eat food you enjoy! Having type 1 diabetes means you just have to practice another way of thinking and learn how different foods affect your blood sugar.
The period of my life I have discussed here was a difficult one. I was eating foods I didn’t like and over-exercising. What happened? I was unhappy, despite my stable blood sugars. I had no energy, I refused social events where food was involved, I lost part of my life and I lost myself.
It’s so important that we eat enough and that we eat what we want. Don’t let diabetes stand in your way of a healthy lifestyle and a life full of deliciousness!
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All of the information in this article is based on the following sources:
1. Jones, J.M., Lawson, M.L., Daneman, D. Olmsted, M.P., Rodin, G., 2000. Eating disorders in adolescent females with and without type 1 diabetes: cross sectional study. BMJ. [online]. Available at: https://www.bmj.com/content/320/7249/1563.
